A Daughter Leaves

Parents spend years secretly yearning for the day their kid’s are off the dole. No more college to pay for. No more hairstyles, allowance, cell phone bills, speeding tickets. The end of paying for spring and fall clothes, car expenses, and animals they wanted, but then dumped on you.

Monday my daughter Landon left to volunteer in a hospital in Thailand that cares for orphans with AIDS. She will be gone at least a year.

I am so proud of her, giving a year of her life to this project. She has worked hard all year to cover her expenses, and will live with her aunt and uncle Tripp and Allison Johnston who are missionaries there. Landon is not a missionary, just an unpaid worker.

She spent the last week saying good-bye to her college friends, her mom, and then Sunday night went out to dinner with me.

We talked about the money I will still send her to help out, and when and where we might meet during the next year. That may not happen, with airline prices and schedules so wacky.

We also talked about what we ment to each other, but kept it light for obvious reasons. Then I walked her to the car she borrowed to see me. We looked at each other, and just broke down. I couldn’t believe this tiny girl was heading to the other side of the planet. There was a part of me that was angry.

I watched her drive off.

The next day I called her at 5 Am on my way to work. She was on her way to the airport. During the 7 AM news I knew she was taking off for a trip that would take most of two days.

I couldn’t complain. Since she was a little girl I had always encouraged her to experience the world and it’s exotic wonders, both big and small, and to love people who are in pain. Writing this, I am looking at a picture of us hugging in front of Big Ben in London, the day before Diana died. I think she was 12. I took her on the trip with our listeners.
Today was a little better. I knew she was in great hands with her aunt and uncle. They are solid, loving people, who adore her.

Then I made two calls. The first was to my insurance guy whom I told to remove her from my insurance because she wouldn’t be driving here for a year. That saves me $60.00 month. The second call was to the cell phone company. I told them to take her off my bill, because her phone won’t work from Thailand. That saves me about $80.00 a month. The idea that she is off my contact list was numbing.

It is the hardest $140.00 I ever made. And I am so proud of her.

Comments

[Elizabeth]

Bob,

What a beautiful relationship you have with your daughter. Congratulations on raising someone you are so proud of.

[Kathy]

Your daughter is lucky to have this opportunity and more lucky to have such a loving father...

[Jannine]

I moved my son to Colorado a little over a month ago and am still getting used to the empty nest.
Bless Landon as she selflessly gives to those less fortunate and bless you for the wonderful job you did raising her.

[Kay McCrory]

Bob...This so touching...thank you for sharing. k

[RN]

Thank you so much for sharing all of this on the air and in your blog. It's so great to hear from a dad who loves his little girl...no matter how grown up she is becoming. I am struggling with my teenage boys growing up, finishing school, and beginning their new lives as young adults. I truly understand how bittersweet it is. I just want to say that I am proud of the way you are handling this. It's so hard to distinguish the line between love and selfishness when it comes to your children. I hope I can be as brave and unselfish as you are...but I don't think I'll even come close.

[Dave Hardin]

Bob:

Landon's chosen activity for the next year says a great deal about the quality of her character, and the quality of her father's character to have instilled such a noble idea in her. That's the first, and primary thing any reader should get from this post.

But, secondarily, it's just a fine piece of writing. I've written professionally for 20 years now and I know it can be very hard to take such an emotional event as this and write something that tells the story this well. Far different from just telling something verbally and more difficult in some ways.

A great job and a wonderful story shared! May God bless both you and Landon in this time of transition and separation and thanks for sharing this!

Dave Hardin
Newton, NC

[Lynne Pascale]

Bob --

Don't you worry -- those "days...." are not over yet! Enjoy the hiatus.

[SARAH HUDSON]

Dear Bob,
I think Landon is a vary lucky girl to have a father that loves and cares about her so much. I wish you and your family the best of luck.

[Cheryl Marrow]

Bob,

I just hope I do as good a job with my daughter, Mackezie as you have with Landon. And that she turns out half as good!!!

[Christie C.]

The day my brother left for his first tour in Iraq with the 82nd Airborne, he didn't get much notice about what date he would be leaving. When he received his orders (about 18 hours before departure), he called my father, and my father drove all night to get from New Hampshire to Fort Bragg so that he could see him off.
We are a close family, and while the war was overwhelming to contemplate, the most desperate fear within me wasn't the war but the distance. At college, or living in another state, I know that, within reason, I can be at the door of any of my family members within 24 hours if the need arises.
There is an element of despair that accompanies the knowledge that you will be unable to get to your loved one with the speed that you could in America.
It requires great faith and strength of character for a parent to encourage his child to embrace her inner compass when that compass directs her away from his ability to protect her. I am certain that this year apart will be a challenge not dissimilar to what military families experience. But what a delight it must be to be the parent of a young woman who will offer her love to children who have no one else to love them. Proud must be an understatement. Great blog, Bob.
Best wishes,
Christie

[Carolyn]

Dear Bob, I am glad that you wrote this blog. My daughter just got back from the Peace Corps in April after two years. She was in Mongolia and worked for both public health and Red Cross. She worked on HIV and TB. She experienced some very hard situations both culturally and becasue Mongolia is a Third World County that is impoverished and still suffers from the effects of being a Communist State. She contracted every parasite in Mongolia but she came back strong and grown up. I miss my little girl but enjoy the woman who came back. But letting them go on to those adventures are both a proud moment and a very sad time wishing they were still in our protection. What stories you child will have to tell for the rest of her life.

[Krutika Desai]

I am a long-time listener to the radio show - since it came on the air in Charlotte and heard all the stories I could,driving to work. Feels like I'm sending one of my own overseas..great job on raising a wonderful child. Will pray for her safe trip and return.

[Cris]

Bob,
I heard you say on the air that Landon was the child you always felt a close mutual bond with. I know this is a painful experience, but think of the opportunity this is for both of you. Don't be surprised to see that this time next year that your feel closer to your other children and that a strong confident young woman who is even more like you that she was the last time you saw her returns to your life.

[Diana Carter]

Bob,

That last line really tore at my heart, and made me cry (at work even!). Landon is very lucky to have such a caring father as you, and you have done such an incredible job raising an equally caring daughter.

Take care of yourself,Bob (leave those smoke detectors alone; just say "No!" to electrocution, okay?) as we need you in our world.

Di

[Donevon]

Bob,
All kidding aside - What a great succes you are as a father,a man and a person. It doesn't get any better than that. Your father would be proud of you. Walk tall my friend.
Donevon

[Karol]

Wow! Extremely touching post. As I sit here watching my 8 and 4 year old daughters play "bride", I am so moved by your words and really trying to hold on to every little piece of their sweet lives.

Love your show!!!

[Sarah]

Bob,
Your relationship with Landon reminds me very much of my relationship with my Dad. When I moved to France after college, he wrote me a very heartfelt letter that still makes me well up with tears when I think about it (my Mom wrote "+mom" but I could tell the letter came from him). I often hear my Dad when I listen to you. Not many girls are lucky to have fathers so compassionate.

[Cynthia]

Bob--according to the Queen of Radio, you've got the free time...we'd like a book!

[Jon Morgan]

Bob-
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. When my kids were both babies, people used to tell me to appreciate them "while they're little," because they were going to grow up so fast. I only half-believed them, and wondered how I could ever miss the days when bottles needed to be filled, or diapers needed to be changed.
Now that my kids are 5 and 7, I wonder how they could have grown up so fast! At least now I know what everyone was talking about five years ago!

[Terry A.]

My husband travels to Thailand on business several times each year. I don't know if he travels to the area where Landon is located but, since we also have children, I can only imagine how far away she must seem right now! Fortunately, with computers and text messages, the distance seems much less than when he traveled there in years past. I am sure he would be happy to deliver things to her if he can. Email us if we can assist in any way. You are fortunate to have a daughter of whom you can be so proud in so many ways!

[Terry A.]

My husband travels to Thailand on business several times each year. I don't know if he travels to the area where Landon is located but, since we also have children, I can only imagine how far away she must seem right now! Fortunately, with computers and text messages, the distance seems much less than when he traveled there in years past. I am sure he would be happy to deliver things to her if he can. Email us if we can assist in any way. You are fortunate to have a daughter of whom you can be so proud in so many ways!

[Terry A.]

My husband travels to Thailand on business several times each year. I don't know if he travels to the area where Landon is located but, since we also have children, I can only imagine how far away she must seem right now! Fortunately, with computers and text messages, the distance seems much less than when he traveled there in years past. I am sure he would be happy to deliver things to her if he can. Email us if we can assist in any way. You are fortunate to have a daughter of whom you can be so proud in so many ways!

[Terry A.]

My husband travels to Thailand on business several times each year. I don't know if he travels to the area where Landon is located but, since we also have children, I can only imagine how far away she must seem right now! Fortunately, with computers and text messages, the distance seems much less than when he traveled there in years past. I am sure he would be happy to deliver things to her if he can. Email us if we can assist in any way. You are fortunate to have a daughter of whom you can be so proud in so many ways!

[Andra Jinn]

What a fabulous job you & Landon's mom have done in raising her. You've brought a person into this Universe who's made it her mission to spread love and kindness that will go on forever and ever.

As she was a gift to you, now she's your gift back to It.

Beautiful post, Bob.

[Andra Jinn]

What a fabulous job you & Landon's mom have done in raising her. You've brought a person into this Universe who's made it her mission to spread love and kindness that will go on forever and ever.

As she was a gift to you, now she's your gift back to It.

Beautiful post, Bob.