My daughter graduates...

When I was 10 years old I accompanied my father on his Saturday money pick-up route. He owned vending machines in a few service stations, bars and luncheonettes. He had a guy stock the machines with coffee, cigarettes and candy during the week, but he made the rounds himself to get the cash.

I really liked going with him because I usually got a candy bar, saw some weird-looking people, and had lunch with him at one of the barrooms. I think that is where I picked up my now too common habit of dining with bartenders. It was also one of the few times during the week I was alone with him. I loved to watch him open the machines with this strange looking tiny key, that had a short, hollow, round shaft. The door would swing open and he would reach down to a metal container filled with nickels,dimes, and quarters. He would pour the loot in a thick cloth bag and lock up the machine. I carried the bag for him sometimes. It was so heavy. I was quite sure we were very rich, but just wanted to be quiet about it.

The candy bar I had at 9 am was wearing off fast and I was getting hungry. Today we were going to have lunch at Ed's Tavern, a working class joint with that unmistakable smell of beer, urine,and smoke, topped off with a subtle whiff of middle-age despair.  Ed's was in East Haven, a tough little section of the greater New Haven area just over the bridge. My Uncle Jimmy was the bridge operator and we would beep and wave at him as we passed by.
                                                                                                                                                                 My father would order a half dozen clams on the half shell and a shot and a beer. I would get a coke. Then for lunch, it was an Italian sausage sandwich for him and a cheeseburger and fries with a coke for me. I sat at the end of the bar so that I would be less noticeable and not annoy the regular patrons with my youthful face and shinny blond hair. When you are getting loaded at noon, a kid like that can piss you off, but it was O.K., I was Big Bob's kid. I had learned how to fit in to this club of World War Two working stiffs. I was quiet, and when Big Bob gave me a quarter to feed the oldies juke-box, I pick the right tunes. I only played "Mack the Knife" by Bobby Darin, my old man's favorite, or "Kansas City" by Wilbert Harrison, because I heard my father once say "It's got a good beat."

"Are we going to Ed's now" I asked, my stomach rolling.

"One more stop," he said " I got a new location."

The new location was a library at Yale University. Yale, the school of Presidents, good and bad, baseball commissioners, captains of industry and Brooke Shields. The second oldest College in America. The place that invented Ivy League clothing. Yale was New Haven, and anyone who grew up there knew how brilliant you had to be to be admitted. Or at least have a family with a great deal of pull.

We walked into a hallway and stripped the coffee machine of it's silver provided by the  caffeine charged students readying themselves to run the world.

As we were about to leave the hallway, my father took me by the hand and said "Look in here."
I peered into the actual library. I had never seen a room like it . The walls and floors were dark, heavy, wood, the massive study tables the same, and over each table were hanging two green Tiffany-style glass lamps. The rugs were rich tones of burgundy and navy. Enveloping the entire room, bookcases with very important looking, thick, leather bound books. It looked like something out of an old English movie I had seen on late night TV.

There were about a dozen future leaders of our nation, staring into their reason for being there. It was the most silent room I had ever been in with that many people.

My father knelt down next to me and breathed,"Some day I would love for you to go here." 
I nodded, and we both agreed, I would go to Yale and become a lawyer. He never finished high school.

Two years later my father took all his bags of silver and bought a restaurant. We were broke in three years. He fell apart emotionally. I left home at 17, had a child at 19. I put myself though two years of a small college,then got caught up in radio, and that was the end of my formal education.

Last Monday along with about 900 other parents, I sat in the quad of Wake Forest University, in Winston-Salem, North Carolina, a school called "one of the new Ivey League." The sky was a rich blue, the green of the lovely oaks that ring the quad swayed,caressed by a soft spring breeze. My eyes searched the stage for her, and then I heard the words I had waited so many years for.... "Landon Lacey." My daughter was a graduate of a top tier university.

Bells rang out announcing the end of this great day, and Landon, her mom and sister, her uncle and brother, her maternal grandparents and friends, and her father, all went out for a celebratory lunch. It was wonderful, one of the great days of my life. We gave Landon gifts, laughed, took pictures, and hugged each other.

For a moment I left the family to remember my father. By coincidence, he moved with my mother, sister and brother, from New Haven, Connecticut to Winston-Salem in the 1980's to restart life.  He died 20 years ago.

I hope his spirit was in the breeze last Monday. It was as close as we ever got to that day at Yale.

He is buried about three miles from Wake Forest.

Comments

[carrie]

look how proud you are. Congrats to you and your daughter. My hubby is an MBA graduate from Wake's Business School so we know what a GREAT school it is.

[Michelle]

Bob - you are a talented writer just like Sheri. You have made me cry and I have to go pick up carpool - what is my daughter going to think? Congratulations!!!!

[David viola]

Man, you and your family has the greatest teeth ever.

Keep smiling.

David v

[Heather]

Landon is beautiful - it's always nice to have at least one child that favors you the most. :-) Congratulations on doing your number one job so very well.

[Lynn Rhoades]

Bob, You ARE a good writer. You should do a book too. What a beautiful way to encapsulate your feelings on your daughter's graduation. Congratulations on raising such a smart, beautiful girl.
I love listening to you and Sheri every day -- you guys always get me in a good mood to deal with the day! Thanks!

[Jeannette]

You & Gigi were pregnant with Alli and with Landon the same time I was pregnant with my two children, so I feel like we have all grown up together via radio. It is great to finally put faces to the people I have heard so much about all these years. Congratulations to Landon and to all your family. I enjoy reading your blogs. You are a great writer! By the way, I could not live without my Bob & Sheri fix in the mornings.

[Abbey Smith]

Bob, I have been a listener back when it was Max & Warren. I feel like I have moved through life with Sheri & you. Having children, family members passing on, good times & bad. I have heard you tell many stories about your family and your childhood. I think I know how much this day meant to you after hearing all of your stories over the years. I am so happy for you & your family. I think your father was smiling down from Heaven at his son & grandchildren.

[Jeanne]

Bob you are so handsome (GiGi must have a problem letting you go)and have a beautiful family. I know you are so proud of them. Landon looks just like you. You have every reason\right to feel all those emotions that you are feeling. I wish her the very best.
You have such a way with words. I'm finding out you are talented in a lot of ways.
Bob I've heard you mention your dad a lot, but not your mom, or did I just miss those times when you did? I remember you mentioning one time that one of your daughters delivered her medicine to her. How is her health?
Love your show. You & Sheri are great together.

[Cliff Lunsford]

What a great connection you must have had with your Father at Wake Forest. I'm sure he was watching you and your wonderful family and saying to himself how proud he is of you. I can only hope that I will reach such achievements with my own three children! God bless you and your family...

[Debbie M Rast]

BOB,

I really loved your blog!! It makes you realize how important family is.Congratulations to Landon.!!!!

[Kathleen]

You always tell the tale so well - and in such a way that it makes my eyes burn and water and a lump in my throat.

Congrats to Landon - and what a beautiful family - under the same roof or not, they are yours and they always will be!

Have a Great Summer!

[Kendra]

Bravo, Bob.

[Johanna]

Wow, what a beautiful family, Bob! When I hear you talk about your children on the show, the sound of pride in your voice is unmistakable. In these pictures, so is the your face; the face of an extremely proud dad. Congrats to Landon on her graduation and best of luck during her year overseas.

Another thing: have you ever considered writing a book yourself? You write every bit as well as Sheri, although your styles are different. Your word painting is poignant and nostalgic, but effective and really beautiful. Blog more often; we all enjoy it so much!

[Roxane]

Bob,
Another well-written, poignant post. Two of my three have graduated college and I can relate to everything you've written. I agree with those above who write that Landon looks like you a lot (a female version of course)---congrats to her and to you as well.

[Giselle]

Bob- you took my breath away with your story. I didn't want it to end. You should keep writing.
Giselle

[Tracey Mc]

Hi Bob,

I really enjoyed your story and the pictures. I have to say that your daughter looks just like you, I bet you hear that all the time. I hope my children both give me the same feeling that you have today. Thanks for sharing your special days, both past and present.

Sincerely,
Tracey

[Lori]

Hi Bob, Your daughter is beautiful! She looks like you. I know how proud of her you are...my daughter is graduating from college too. Like you, she is the first person from my family to graduate college. You are a good writer. I listen every day.

[-]

my my that ally is a looker

[Charlotte]

Bob,
Oh the tears you have made me shed!! I just love you. I too have been listening since right before Sheri joined and have two sons, 20 and 16. Same as Ally and John. So I can relate to all of our family stories. I am so happy for Landon and your love for your family radiates in your words. You too are a great writer and so many times sell yourself short. You and Sheri help get my day started on the right foot! Congrats to Landon ... Ally and John won't be far behind. Best of luck to all! Your most loyal listener.

[Cynthia]

Bob, great blog! I'm a high school English teacher, and I have to read a lot of, shall we say, 'emerging' writing from students,:), so it means something that I'll actually read someone's entire blog. I agree with previous posters--you should do a book. I read Sheri's last one and loved it (I laughed out loud in many places). I think yours would be less amusing, but just as interesting ( I mean that in a positive way--you're a more brooding writer). Love your show!

[Matt]

Great story, Bob. I actually grew up in Winston-Salem (where I used to listen to you and Sheri as I drove to high school in 1998-99) and am now at Yale, so it is funny to see the story told in reverse.

Best of luck to Landon, and if you'd ever like the insider's tour of Yale when you are back in the New Haven area, I'd be happy to show you around. I'm sure I speak for the rest of the Elis -- we would have been proud to have you.

[Amanda @ Shamelessly Sassy]

Congratulations on Landon's graduation. I am a listener, and I think what she is doing with her life post-graduation is so inspirational.

[Cris]

Bob,
Reading your blog is scary sometimes, mainly because with a few minor changes, I could truthfully write about the same things on my own blog. My father was a blue collar Joe, one of those WWII stiffs getting drunk in the bar at noon on Saturday, and on the rare times I was with him, I remember playing those same six country tunes on the jukebox for a quarter (man, that WAS a long time ago), drinking that 10 cent Orange Crush while my dad downed those 10 cent drafts. My father never finished high school, but I was the first member of the family to graduate from college. Oddly, I had the only mother in the world who DIDN'T want her son to grow up to be a lawyer, so what did I major in? Broadcast journalism. Twenty seven years later, I have spent more time in a car wash than in a radio studio, but I have a good secure job and a decent future. Not bad for the son of a dock worker with an eighth grade education.

[Armen Boyajian]

Great blog, as was the last one. You have a gift for writing and conveying stories, keep up the great work. And congratulates to the graduate and the family!

[Toby]

Bob- Loved the story here and on 5/20 when you told it on the show including the bird!!. So perfect to sum up how life comes at you sometimes. I teared up as you told the part of how proud you were of her. Congratulations to Landon on her great accomplishment! You and Gigi appear to have did a fine job. Thanks for sharing your lives with the listeners.