Getting His License

My son John went to get his license a few days ago. Any parent knows there is only one thing good about your kid driving. YOU don't have to pick him up as much. Everything else is a negative. You are worried about his safety, you are wondering where he is, you are worried about his safety, you hope he doesn't crack up the car and run up the insurance bill, which in my case with two college- age daughters and now a 16 year old boy, is approaching Bolivia's national debt. And you worry about his safety.

With my two daughters we let the dates where they could drive slip a little by getting them their learners permits late. No such scam with John. He knew to the minute when he was eligible to drive, and let us know too.

Off John and I went to the DMV on Friday afternoon. There is nothing better than finishing up a long week of getting up at 4:30 am every day with a visit to the good 'ol DMV. The plastic chairs, the sullen folks without the right papers, the picture of the Governor on the wall, I dreaded it. But luck was with me! A listener called to tell me if I went to a smaller office outside of town it would be better. We did and it was!

A wonderful man with a great sense of humor was John's DMV Test Officer.

"Son, does it look like fun when your mom and dad drive?" He inquired.

"No " replied John.

"Then why in the world would you want to drive?" he asked with a smile.

"So I can free myself from their rusting chains that keep me from the life I know I am meant to live!!!" said John.

He didn't really say that, but I am guessing he thought it.

John passed easily. He is a great driver, which I take credit for. At the age of 8 I had him driving the golf cart with me when the pro couldn't see us.

That night was John's first to drive alone. I told him, "I am going to give you 'The Talk.' And I did, ending with the command to call me a couple of times, and to be home by 9:00 PM, which is law for the first six months. At 9:00 pm his car turns into a pumpkin, and if he is not home, I turn into Charles Bronson with a bad case of hemorrhoids.

I watched as he drove away at 6:30 in the 1996 Ford Explorer with 147,OOO miles on it.  It was an old car Kristen used to haul stuff in. She gave me the Friend's and Family discount. I had it painted Jet Black.

Two hours later John called.

"Where are you?" I asked.

"I'm tailgating."

"What?"

"I'm tailgating at the football game."

I  smiled at the idea of a 16 year old with the tailgate open and a six pack of Red Bull in the back.

He was hanging out, looking so cool. With his own car.

I closed the cell phone and stood there in the kitchen for a few minutes. I drifted back to the first month I had a license. We had one car in our family, a burgundy Pontiac convertible, the only really nice thing my father owned.

On a Friday night he reluctantly gave me permission to take his prized jewel out. I picked up my best friends Paul Miserindino, Richie Carleton and Peter Walen. We also jammed two girls into the car and the six of us headed to downtown New Haven to see a rock band. I cut through a state  park. The park had tight, winding roads and after a mile or two I took a corner too fast and slid into a brick retaining wall. Everyone was O.K., but I had done a fair amount of damage to the Bonneville's driver's side.

Later that night I walked leaden-foot into our tiny house to face my father. He was still up reading the paper. The cigarette smoke drifted up from over the top of the New Haven Register. A can of Ballentine beer at his side on the small table next to his chair.

"I had a small accident" I choked out.

He said nothing.

"I'm sorry." I said.

After a moment, "Novice drivers."

The next day I got a job at the IHOP as a busboy and spent the next six months paying off the repairs.

If you think I am going to regret John reading that his father cracked up a car at his age, don't. Teen-age boys don't read much, and this week Halo 3 is out. I'm covered.

Comments

[cynthia cutliff]

I, too, have a son that has his permit only. I am already worried.

[A Week In the Life of A Redhead]

My son is 12 and I don't even like it when he plays race car video games... Only 3 more years until he gives me the "I am ready to drive" look. Ohhhh the many sleepless nights I have to look forward to...
Good thing you have a coffee shop below where you live for the mornings after.
Catherine, the redhead

[Thomas]

I am like you Bob. I had a small bump up the very first day I got to drive alone. Of course I tried everything to cover it up, but it didn't work. Young and dumb.

[Barbara the empty nester]

My only advice about teenagers and cars are to confiscate the car keys at night. Not that your wonderful soccer playing son would ever think about going out late at night, but I had a similar kind of son who did just that. Thank goodness nobody got hurt or in trouble. The way I found out is probably a call for one of your morning chatrooms!

[Patty Hoth]

I have 3 teenagers, 18, almost 17 and my third, boy, just turned 15. My 2 oldest drove on their permit for a good year and a half; they were close to 17 when they got their license. My 15 year old plays soccer and is therefore too busy to be able to take drivers ed just yet, so he, too, will be nearing 17 before he gets his actual license. Personally, I think this is best as they just aren't quite ready at 16; even though they seem to be ready (they drive great when they are with us!). Anyway - the shock of the insurance is something else! But, good for you Bob. I hope your son stays safe and follows the rules. You were smart, too, to have him drive a large vehicle rather than a brand-new sporty car (doesn't fail, boys will wreck a new sports car!).

You guys are a trip each morning. I get the biggest kick out of your whole crew.

[angie]

We have two boys, and the oldest one, my Type A, Straight-A student, I immediately glommed onto as "my boy to teach to drive". My youngest, a dreamy gamer with an admitted short attention span - he's the one I gave to his Dad to teach! I think I definitely got the better end of the bargain!

My oldest is a really good driver; other people have observed him and tell me so, it's not just the ravings of a stage mom! :D

But the first day he drove off without me, I sobbed and wailed for probably the whole time it took him to get to school! And he had strict orders to call or text me to let me know that he got to school OK. Well I waited and waited, and no call and no text. Knowing that he'd have been mighty proud of himself, I cut him some slack and drove to the school myself. I slowly drove up and down the aisles of the student lot until I found the familiar green car, which had been mine a few days before. But something didn't look right. I checked the angle of the sun against the headlights, and no, the lights WERE on. But my son had my keys, and he was likely in his nuclear fission class, or whatever passes for high order science now. I tried in vain to get ahold of his Dad to see if he had keys, but he was not available. So I drove all the way home and got the extra set and drove back to the school to unlock the door and turn off the lights.

I left him a note that said, "You owe me one! - Mom" I wanted to write "Love, Mommy", but I think he got the picture. We both know that even though he's very independent now, sometimes a boy still needs his Mama!

[Robin]

My daughter just turned 16 on Oct. 3 and on Monday, Oct. 8, we are going to the DMV for her driving test. I'm already dreading it and I will miss the time I spend in the car transporting her everywhere. We have our most intimate conversations in the car. :(

[AnnL]

I feel your pain....having two boys 17 and 15! Watch the tailgating..sometimes there's more than Red Bull at the highschool games too....we just got halo 3 this week as well....think my 15yr old opened his bookbag once this week...but he does have a study hall this year!! Yeah!! When they were little, they were physically exhausting; now that they're older it's exhausting mentally!! But of course, I wouldn't trade it for anything!

[TheDMVLady]

Bob, you should have brought him up here to my office. I would have taken him out and put him through his paces. I have an admonishment for you though. What were you thinking... Calling him while he might be driving! Didn't you get the speil about "No Cell Phones While Driving!?!" Or maybe, it was a test. To see if he would answer... Wicked Bob. Wicked!

[Lori]

I know how you feel. I have two kids already driving and a 14 year old who will get his learner's permit in May. I dread it. I worry about them so much. You sound like a great dad.

[Chey]

Wow Bob, your dad went pretty easy on you with the car thing. I remember my first car crash-up. Was a fender-bender type thing in a parking lot, happened probably going like 5 mph, yet the damage looked so much worse. Side-view mirror pulled off and a long streak down the side of my poor car. It was actually my car too, (well, me and my mom's car) and although I tried to cover it the best I could and paid for everything to get fixed the very next day, my dad still FLIPPED OUT. Granted, it WAS bought with his money, but at least it wasn't like I crashed his prized truck or something. Because of that though, I'm still paranoid in parking lots to this day...

[Kevin Murphy]

Bob, I have been so lucky my son is a safe driver I think because I drive for a living and he's seen when I do wreck it's not fun
and it's dangerous (Ohio winters)

[rhonda]

I had a Ford Falcon, if I parked it in the desert someone would hit. I did a few vender benders myself if it was raining. I do miss that car. I got my license at l6.

[Jenny]

Why no post since October 3rd?????? I guess Sheri was right...AGAIN....you wouldn't keep up the blog.
Love ya!

[Kathleen]

My son drove for 14 days without an accident - my mistake for letting him drive alone...oh, thats right, he wasn't alone - he was with his friend that he was not supposed to have in the car because he was a novice driver.

Ho-hum!

Love ya!! And Oct 3rd is my late grandmothers b-day - so seeing the date let me think of her for the moment - but c'mon pony up a new story Bob - we're your fans...feed us or we will start asking for money, too.

[Nicole Bruce]

Listen to this one. I got my license 3 months after my birthday because at my school they have this whole thing about if you don't make good grades you aren't going to keep your license. They will take it from you. You have to at least pass 3 out of 4 of your classes. Well, I have a twin brother. My grades were great. But, because I had a twin and it wouldn't be fair for me to get my license before him, my parents wouldn't let either of us get it. Well when we finally got our license in March. My brother and I shared Moms car until we could get one together. One afternoon (this was about 2 months after I got my license)I was on my way to pick up my mom. I had just gotten paid and was coming from the corner store with some yogurt for her and I and I got to this stoplight and it turned red. I didn't want to wait through it, so I thought I would turn right and take a shorter way. As I was turning so was the turning lane on the side I was heading toward and the other car turned too sharp and slammed right into the front of my moms car. It jammed the front doors to where I couldn't get out but through the back ones. I had a bruise on my leg from it. But, I got out of the car crying because I remember my mom telling me to be careful and just looking at what I did, I knew she was going to kill me. Mom's car was totaled. I didn't get a ticket, but I got a raise on my insurance bill and about 3 months until my parents trusted me behind the wheel. The officer said it was my fault because they had the green light. Of course I respect that, but I have never turned at another red light since then!

I'm now helping out with insurance as best as I can. =)

Later on though, my mom informs me that we were going to get a new car anyways, as if it was alright that I got in a wreck.

[Joshua Lawless]

I AM a 16 year old boy. And this story made me laugh quite allot. I heard these type of stories from my father all the time and in the next breath i would get "the talk" And I actually don't have my lisence yet... But you may have to worry Bob as any son who would want to know what hi's father says about him driving would look at this.... Though if you bought him halo 3 you are covered. If you didn't not so much.

[Rebecca]

Bob,
I love, love, love to read your blogs. Please write more.

[Janet]

Hi Bob,
Sounds like you are a great dad. God Bless you!!

[Kim Ward]

Bob,
As I sit here at the public library using their free on-line service. I cannot afford internet at home due to teenage car insurance food, water, housing ect...I tell myself it is worth it. As a helicopter Mom the independance that my child has obtained from driving privliges has been a good expeience thus far. Oh, by the way I thought the law about 9pm was for one year, not six months. Oh well, what she doesn't know won't hurt her!